CLEAN Jokes

A general discussion forum to talk about all things Peavey and everything musical.
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Sarge
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Sarge » Sat Feb 26, 2011 2:21 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


So true... :shock:

Sarge
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Party Chief
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Party Chief » Sat Feb 26, 2011 3:17 pm

Hickory Dickory Dock, three mice ran up a clock. The clock struck one.....

...and the other two escaped with minor injuries.
In dog beers, I've only had one...

tommer
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by tommer » Sat Feb 26, 2011 4:41 pm

Party Chief wrote:Hickory Dickory Dock, three mice ran up a clock. The clock struck one.....

...and the other two escaped with minor injuries.
Were they SWEPT away by the SWEEP hand ??? :shock:
BLUES BLUES & MORE BLUES... 8)
I was brought up so po, we couldn't afford the O and R in poor...

Party Chief
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Party Chief » Sat Feb 26, 2011 5:29 pm

I guess you could say they got a second chance.


Yeah, I know. Pretty bad, huh?
In dog beers, I've only had one...

tommer
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by tommer » Sat Feb 26, 2011 6:10 pm

Party Chief wrote:I guess you could say they got a second chance.


Yeah, I know. Pretty bad, huh?
Well Yeah ! :shock:
BLUES BLUES & MORE BLUES... 8)
I was brought up so po, we couldn't afford the O and R in poor...

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xjbear
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Location: Springfield MO

Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by xjbear » Sat Feb 26, 2011 6:54 pm

I find myself personally offended by the slew of Irish jokes on here, we are a hard workin, good bunch and THEN you start killing off my rodent brethren with clocks, well i NEVER thought I would feel this singled out and made to feel so small by a group of people on the webz, I'm leaving......

Anyways, how did Germany invade Poland so easily????
They walked in backwards and said they were leaving.
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Josjor
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Josjor » Sat Feb 26, 2011 8:04 pm

xjbear wrote:I find myself personally offended by the slew of Irish jokes on here, we are a hard workin, good bunch and THEN you start killing off my rodent brethren with clocks, well i NEVER thought I would feel this singled out and made to feel so small by a group of people on the webz, I'm leaving......

You're right. The Irish are a hard working, intelligent bunch. That's why God created whiskey: to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. :mrgreen:
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Classic30inCincy
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Classic30inCincy » Sat Feb 26, 2011 8:09 pm

Charlie Sheen clean, sober, and ready to return to work.

Major Joke...... 8) :wink:

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Dookie
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Location: Maine USA

Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Dookie » Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:09 pm

Went into the local fast food joint. 2 very large overweight girls were at the counter. After talking for more than 2 minutes and ignoring me one of them looked over and looking bothered said " Sorry for the wait can I help you? "
I said "I don't care how much you weigh just give me a number 5 with coke"

I didn't read the whole thread so if its already here :roll:

Dookie

triguy
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by triguy » Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:43 pm

Did you hear that Ford recently had to recall a bunch of Mercury's?

They found traces of tuna in them.

:lol:

Satan appears to a lawyer and says, "If you give me your soul and the souls of all your family members, I'll make you a full partner in your law firm."

The lawyer says, "Sooooooooo . . . what's the catch?"



Triguy

Bonesy
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Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Bonesy » Tue Jul 19, 2011 10:15 am

A man crashes his light plane in the Amazon and blacks out. When he comes around he finds himself in a small hut being attended to be a couple of native women and the tribe's chief who informs him he's welcome to stay as long as he likes. Weeks pass and he's actually quite content and happy. He has shelter, food, and the natives are nice and treat him as one of their own. The only thing that's bothering him is that drums are played all day, every day. Non stop. So he goes to visit the chief and says..."I'm really happy living here with you, and I appreciate everything you've done for me, but you have to tell me, what's with the constant drumming?" The chief looks him in the eye and says..."While there are drums, there is peace." The man thinks that's fair enough and accepts the chiefs reply. Some weeks later the man wakes to the sound of frantic, chaotic screaming. He emerges from his hut to witness women running in all directions grabbing their children and running into the jungle. The first thing the man realizes is that the drumming has stopped. He runs to the chief's hut to find out what's going on, but on the way finds the chief himself gathering his family and heading for the jungle. The man yells out... "Chief! Chief! What's going on! Why has the drumming stopped!" The chief turns, looks him in the eye and says..."Time for bass solo."
Last edited by Bonesy on Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Shake it Baby..."

Bonesy
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Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Bonesy » Tue Jul 19, 2011 10:19 am

And while I'm ragging on bass players........

Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in his car?
It took him almost two hours to get the drummer out.

Boom Boom, I'm out.
"Shake it Baby..."

Marty McCann
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Marty McCann » Tue Jul 19, 2011 10:51 am

The Bass players wife comes home from shopping, just in time to see her hubby Bubba chasing little Johnny around the yard while slapping him on the back side of his head.

Wife:
"Bubba, STOP THAT! The neighbors are going to think you are a terrible father. Now what did little Johnny do that was so bad?"

Little Johnny is now hiding behind his momma.

Bubba:
"He was messing with my Bass guitar agin, and I told him not to."

Wife:
"Well perhaps he will be interested in playing Bass one day.

Bubba:
"But the problem is, he turned one of the Key's, . . . . . .

and he won't tell me which one."


The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

seprowling
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Re: CLEAN Jokes Nine words women use

Post by seprowling » Thu Jul 21, 2011 9:49 pm

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
>
>
>
> (1) Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument
> when they are right and you need to shut up.
>
>
>
> (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this
> means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five
> minutes if you have just been given five more
> minutes to watch the game before helping around
> the house..
>
>
>
> (3) Nothing:
> This is the calm before the storm. This means
> something, and you should be on your toes.
> Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in
> fine.
>
>
>
> (4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't
> Do It!
>
>
>
> (5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a
> non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.
> A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
> and wonders why she is wasting her time standing
> here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer
> back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
>
>
>
> (6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous
> statements a woman can make to a man. That's
> okay means she wants to think long and hard
> before deciding how and when you will pay for
> your mistake.
>
>
>
> (7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or
> faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says
> 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO
> NOT say 'you're
> welcome'. That will bring on a whatever).
>
>
>
>
> ( Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
>
>
>
> (9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous
> statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do
> several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in
> a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's
> response refer to #3.
>
>
>
> *
> Send this to the men you know, to warn them
> about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
>
>
>
> *
> Send this to all the women you know to give them
> a good laugh, cause they know it's true!!!
>
You can't be old and wise until you have been young and dumb

The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled Corporations are people too~~I want to know when we will see one executed?.

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