CLEAN Jokes

A general discussion forum to talk about all things Peavey and everything musical.
tommer
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CLEAN Jokes

Post by tommer » Sat Feb 19, 2011 8:15 pm

C L E A N jokes only ! :D

One snowman says to the other... "Your right, I do smell carrots?" :roll:
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WHY did the cowboy solder a resistor to his stove?

Because he wanted an OHM On The Range :shock:
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lix
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by lix » Sat Feb 19, 2011 10:52 pm

How can you tell when a stage is level at a concert?
The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth.....

How do you make a guitar player stop playing?
Put sheet music in front of him....

XloydtilldeathX666
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by XloydtilldeathX666 » Sat Feb 19, 2011 11:15 pm

what do you call a bass player who is single?

homeless.



why do chicken coops only have 2 doors?

if they had four they would be chicken sedans.




How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Davejj
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Davejj » Sat Feb 19, 2011 11:35 pm

Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite.......

All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary

triguy
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by triguy » Sun Feb 20, 2011 7:01 pm

Davejj wrote:Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite.......

All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary

:lol: :lol: :lol:



triguy

Marty McCann
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Marty McCann » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:40 pm

These two Irish guy's walked by a Bar . . . . .


:oops:




Well it might could happen!

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SemperFiSound
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by SemperFiSound » Mon Feb 21, 2011 3:44 pm

Marty McCann wrote:These two Irish guy's walked by a Bar . . . . .
is right up there with "These two Irish guys walked out of a bar..."

Of course if their names are McCann & Kelly, neither is possible...

Sláinte!
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matter what he does." Sun Tzu

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Enzo
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Enzo » Mon Feb 21, 2011 3:57 pm

A priest, a rabbi, and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"


A horse walks into a bar, sits down and orders a martini. Bartender serves him the drink and says, "So, uh, why the long face?"


A duck walks into a bar, and orders a martini. Bartender says, "Hey, a talking duck."


...why so many questions, Two Dogs F......

tommer
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by tommer » Mon Feb 21, 2011 6:41 pm

what do you call a guitar with 2 pickups ?








a pimp guitar
:lol:
BLUES BLUES & MORE BLUES... 8)
I was brought up so po, we couldn't afford the O and R in poor...

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xjbear
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by xjbear » Mon Feb 21, 2011 7:07 pm

mushroom enters bar, hops on stool and says gimme a drink, Bartender says we don't serve your kind, mushroom says why not I'm a fun guy......



kid sees pirate with steering wheel stuck in his pants, says hey pirate there's a steering wheel in yer pants, pirate says I know, its driving me nuts....


man says to wife **** **** **** ****! wife says back **** **** ****!
(they each had only four fingers and I don't know sign language so that's all I got)

I literally just made that one up, yea stupid, I kno
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Box
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Box » Mon Feb 21, 2011 8:16 pm

Three men walk into a bar... You would think the third one would've ducked. :P
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Wooferhound » Tue Feb 22, 2011 12:02 am

Conversions Every Engineer Should Know

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese Soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
7. 365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer = 1 Lite year
8. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
9. Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
10. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
11. Basic unit of laryngitis - 1 hoarsepower
12. Shortest distance between two jokes - a straight line
13. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
14. 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
15. 1 million bicycles = 1 megacycle
16. 365 days = 1 unicycle
17. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
18. 10 cards = 1 decacard
19. 52 cards = 1 deckacard
20. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton
21. 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen
22. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
23. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
24. 10 rations = 1 decaration
25. 100 rations = 1 C-Ration
26. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
27. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms
28. 5 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League
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Muskratt
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Muskratt » Tue Feb 22, 2011 12:45 am

What do you get when you drop a miner down a mine shaft?









A flat minor!
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Enzo
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Enzo » Tue Feb 22, 2011 6:12 pm

Traffic safety warning: C sharp or B flat.

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Nattsvart
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Re: CLEAN Jokes

Post by Nattsvart » Wed Feb 23, 2011 6:00 am

Marty McCann wrote:These two Irish guy's walked by a Bar . . . . .

:oops:

Well it might could happen!
No it couldn't..... Not even if the bar is closed. Actually, an Irish guy I know can't even walk by a crowbar without stopping asking for a Guinness.
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